An Open Letter To The University of North Carolina Baseball Team

Dear Coaches Fox, Forbes, Holbrook and Howell; dear Cardiac Heels:

Thank you for giving us a team like you gave us, a team we could love completely and obsessively and probably a little unhealthily. Thank you for making us love college baseball so much that the only place we'll be in June next year is Omaha. Thank you for getting thrown out of games on the force of your convictions; thank you for trusting your players enough to leave them in the lineup.

Thank you for being bad ass new gods and studs who hit bombs. Thank you for the black uniforms. Thank you for ERAs under 2.00 and double plays and catches made against the wall, for sacrifice bunts and doubles off the warning track and home runs when we need them. Thank you for the at-bat music that made us laugh, thank you for nicknames both of your making and our own.

Thank you, Joshie, for putting yourself on notice, for loving the the game more than anyone else in the world, for always smiling. Thank you, D.Ack, for being the best freshman in the country, for breaking aluminum bats on grand slams. (shep. would also like to thank you for being hot like burning.) Thank you, FedEx, for being the heart of the team, the one we always believed in no matter what. Thank you for proposing at the CWS, Benji, even if dex. did want to marry you herself. Wooten, thank you for wanting to always be on the field, and for the sacrifice of the tooth -- you're the one we want watching our backs in a fight. Thank you, R.Wood, for coming back for your senior year, for career victories, for the face you make when Coach Fox takes you out of the game. Thank you, little Timmy and Kyle, for being part of a freshman class that scares other teams. Thank you, Reid Fronk, for being the kind of lead off hitter we needed, thank you, Chad Flack, for swinging the big bat at the most crucial moments. Thank you, Mike Cavasinni, for coming back, for continuing to play, and for making a backup catcher at Georgia Tech think that shep. loves him.

And thank you, Andrew, for being the kind of player -- committed to his teammates above anything else -- that we're proud to have playing for our university. Thank you for being the bad ass new god; thank you for coming back with your head high and your fastball in the 90s.

Thank you for proving, over and over again, that the game is never done until the 27th out in the ninth inning is recorded. Thank you for being a team we could love like we do love you.

Regardless of what happens tonight -- thanks for being awesome.

dex.

I can say: REIDFRONK is totally on notice.

I would live-blog tonight's UNC/Miss State College World Series game from my pineapple couch here in the CH, just to stick it up the NCAA's ass, except that a live-blog involving me and shep. would mostly involve a lot of commentary on who wears the high socks for Carolina, who should wear the high socks for Carolina, who shouldn't wear the high socks for Carolina, and also a lot of discussion of catchers', uh, assets.

So you're spared. Count your blessings. Go Heels.

Now I have to go make another drink. A strong one. A really strong one.

ETA: Carolina has now scored 26 runs in the 6th inning or later over their last four games; they're 3-1 in that time. I'm okay with this, because they keep winning, but come on, guys, can't you score some earlier just so my heart catches a break?

San Diego: the MLB team I always forget exists.

In an effort not to make a flailing all-caps post about the Tar Heels' excellent College World Series advancing victory over South Carolina tonight, I share with you my favorite story about a major league ballpark, which was triggered in my mind by seeing a reference to Petco Park elsewhere on the internets:

Seattle relievers were dismayed to find out when they got here that the beautiful, still-new Petco Park does not have a bathroom in the visitors' bullpen, which is down the right-field line, on the opposite side of the field from the visitors' bench.

No one was more dismayed than lefty Matt Thornton, who had go to the bathroom during the game Friday night. To do so, he had to climb over a fence to reach a public restroom, where he had to stand in line.

"I met a guy named Stan, who invented a baseball cap with a handle so you can take it off fast to catch foul balls," Thornton said. "He said he tested it at a batting cage on pitches at 75 mph and caught five before the seams started to give out."

Closer Eddie Guardado said that the visitors' bullpen in San Francisco doesn't have a bathroom, either.

"It's not that bad there; the dugout is closer and you can run back," Guardado said. "Maybe it's just they didn't think of it, or maybe they're trying to be cute. It could be tough to pitch well if you gotta go, you know?"

From The Seattle Times. Stan! I'm sorry, two years later, that story still cracks me up. He had to wait in line! In full uniform and spikes! Ahahahahahaha.

In conclusion, I leave you with the text message I received from shep. upon her viewing of the Tar Heels' celebration: THAT IS A BIG PILE OF DUDES I LOVE

And it was, dear readers, it really was. It was a very large pile of dudes that we here at Coming Up Carolina love, and I can only hope that no one bit Andrew Carignan while he was on the bottom of the pile. He's got to go to Oakland in a couple of weeks and learn how to be a hippie from Danny Haren, after all.

And the Heels have to go to Omaha and give shep. a College World Series title for her birthday, so I feel teeth should best be left out of it. The victories can continue.

(ETA: I just watched the large pile of dudes again -- thank God for TiVo -- and, hilariously, Tar Heels outfielder Kyle Shelton, who usually spends games sitting in the bullpen by himself to shag foul balls, completely overshot the large pile of dudes and went flying over the far side of the pile. Kyle Shelton, I love you, and I feel sad for you when you have to sit by yourself in the bullpen. In case you ever Google yourself to know if people love you.)

An Open Letter to Matt Wieters, Starting Catcher for the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets.

I trust you to choose well, Mr. Wieters. And by choose well I mean, say yes to the Devil Rays during today's 2007 MLB Draft, if Tampa Bay decides they need catching more than pitching and pick you instead of David Price. Durham hosts a Devil Rays farm team! I'm just saying: you will not want for anything.


Anything.


Alternately, Baltimore! It would please dex., that's for certain.


stalkery-ly,
shep.

Day 4 of the NCAA Baseball Chapel Hill Regional (a day late and several dollars short)

I got no numbers for you today, except for these: UNC 6, WCU 5.

If you wanted to recreate Game 6 of the Chapel Hill Regional in your own home, here's a recipe: gather 2000 of your closest friends. Put them all in a ballroom that's mostly made up of metal. Turn the heat up to 90 and hang sun lamps from the ceiling. When your 2000 closest friends get thirsty, charge them three bucks for a bottle of water. Invite a couple of people who will make your 2000 closest friends whisper and point every time they do anything remotely interesting (local celebrities would work). Spend three hours showing your 2000 closest friends a film that's primarily disappointing but has a surprise happy ending. Have them scream and wave their arms and clap their hands and leap onto the metal sculptures you've provided for them, assuring that your 2000 closest friends are so slippery with sweat that at least a handful will fall right back off after having leapt up.

Listen to the sounds of 2000 of your closest friends being deliriously happy. Scream until you're hoarse. Wish you could go back 5 days later and do it all again.

And then you've got yourself Game 6 of the Chapel Hill Regional. And, also, probably a sunburn.

Photos here.

Day 3 of the NCAA Baseball Chapel Hill Regional, By The Numbers

Games delayed by rain on Sunday: 1
Hours delayed game was delayed: 6
Games postpooned 'til Monday by rain: 1
Number of event staffers needed to dispel standing water with brooms (and a mop): 4
Number of people photographing event staffers dispelling standing water with brooms (and a mop): 2
Number of event staffers who flirted with us: 2
Hours spent in dex.'s car, waiting for the rain to stop: .75
Former ACC athletic directors seen: 1
High school coaches of Brian Roberts sat with: 1
Foul & home run balls shagged by shep.'s new nine-year-old BFF: 3
Half-innings delayed by umpire bathroom breaks: 1
Annoying ECU fans going home tonight: many, many, many

Four games in three days, and tomorrow we go back and do it one more time.

Day 2 of the NCAA Baseball Chapel Hill Regional, By The Numbers

Runs scored by Jacksonville University in this regional: 0
Hotasses on the Jacksonville University team: 20+
Coaches ejected from the ECU/UNC game: 2
Bad calls made by the umpires in the ECU/UNC game: 14,007
Innings during which it rained: 3
Earned runs given up by pitchers with ERAs under 2.00: 2
Earned runs given up by pitchers who were catching during the at-bat previous to their moving to the pitcher's mound: 1
Pitchers who caught the 1st through 6th & 8th and 9th innings after throwing the 7th: 1
UNC third basemen remaining ON NOTICE after the game: 1
Other UNC players remaining ON NOTICE after the game: 0
UNC players who would be ON NOTICE if they were not Dustin Ackley: 1
Teams that will be wearing purple and yellow during tomorrow's first game between ECU and WCU: 2

Every day should include desperate bottom-of-the-ninth rallies that result in victory, and end with burgers, beers, and the greatest manager shit-fit EVER THROWN.

Day 1 of the NCAA Baseball Chapel Hill Regional, By The Numbers

Temperature at game time, Game 1: 91 degrees
Temperature at game time INSIDE THE BOSH, Game 1: 105 degrees
Bottles of water consumed by shep. and dex.: 7
Pitchers used by ECU in their 9-8 victory over WCU: 6
Pitchers used by UNC in their 6-0 victory over Jacksonville: 2
UNC starters who were probably annoyed that they didn't get to pitch a complete game: 1
Batting line for the top three batters in the UNC lineup: 1 for 11, 2 K, 1 BB
Batting line for the rest of the UNC lineup: 9 for 19, 6 RBI, 0 K, 2 BB
UNC basketball players surreptitiously photographed by dex.: 2
Jacksonville baseball players' asses touched by dex.: 1
Old guys who told dex. that her hat was "very nice": 1
Number of new underage BFFs made by shep.: 1

dex.: Reid Fronk sounds like something you do in the dark in the bedroom.

shep.: Those were some good looking college boys getting off that bus.
dex.: They just kept coming. It was like a fucking clown car.

The only real thing we have to say about anything other than the fact that Robert Woodard is a badass new god is that it was really REALLY hot today. REALLY HOT. But as a whole, today was A+, would watch again.